The crisp Boston air hits Shelby’s face as she tugs the scarf closer to her nose. On the sidewalk at Logan International Airport she looks around. A couple of men are taking a smoke break and the waves of smoke drift towards her. She hails a taxi and tells the driver to take her to Copley Place. It has begun snowing, again. The land covered in a blanket of white makes her smile but this doesn’t show on her face. The cab stops at a red light and puts on the turn signal to hang a right. As they pull out on to the lane there is suddenly a loud noise as Shelby tries to brace herself from being thrown forward. She flinches at the racket from the car horn and the crunching sound of plastic and metal. Once they stop moving she realizes they’ve been hit by another car. The taxi driver had already gotten out of the car. He asks her if she’s ok through the glass window.
“Yeah, I’m fine. How’s the other driver?” Shelby answers as she opens the door and gets out. Fortunately no one was injured. After answering the police’s questions one of the officer’s offered to drive her home. Sitting in the passenger’s seat Shelby’s fingers nervously play with a keychain that hangs from her purse strap. The small shape of a peace sign once was shiny and pink. Now, like the memories of her sister Sara it’s worn and faded.
Shelby steps into the warm apartment lobby shedding the snow. She is greeted by Naomi Mitchell her FBI handler. They make their way upstairs to her new home, if you can call it that. Shelby’s never felt at home anywhere. Naomi opens the door to the apartment. Shelby walks around and notices the faded colors on the walls where pictures once hung. There’s a stale smell in the air that reminds her of cardboard.
“So, this is home.” Shelby says flatly.
“I guess you’ll be calling it that.” Naomi says as she runs her finger along the counter. It leaves a clean mark in the dust.
“It’s not bad. I’ve been in worse.” Shelby sighs.
Shelby remembers the house Sara and her lived in when Shelby was fourteen.
The place was a dump. It was burning hot in the summer. Sara and I shared a bed. We shared everything clothes, shoes, books. We didn’t have anything and we were just starting to realize how many things we really didn’t have. I tried to protect her.
“You have a few days before the job starts. Here are the files you need to review.” Naomi says laying a CD on the counter and leaves.
Shelby starts to unpack and picks up a shoebox. She opens the lid. Staring back is a picture of Sara and Shelby when they were kids. She remembers the day this was taken.
It was spring in Louisiana. We were at a birthday party. One of the parents took the picture of us smiling at the camera. I remember smiling so much that day that my cheeks hurt. It wasn’t often we had a day like that.
After our parents died we moved in with a foster family. They were a nice couple but nothing was ever the same.
Shelby closes the box and heads to the shower hoping the water will make these memories go away.
There’s very little left in this world that makes Shelby Reid. Actually, there’s nothing. Shelby Reid is a cover name for her new job in Boston. As an undercover agent, adapting to a new role is one of her favorite things. She can leave it all behind and become someone new. This assignment is going to take several months. She’s glad that work keeps her focused and busy. She pulls out her laptop and pops in the CD Naomi had left. The files are of her future co-workers at Biogenetic Technologies. She will be undercover as the executive assistant.
Saturday has come and Shelby digs around the room looking for the pair to her running shoe. She picks up the shoebox in the corner. It drops out of her hand as if it were made of iron.
Today’s the day Sara died; she was fifteen. How could I have forgotten what day it is?
For Shelby it might as well have happened yesterday. Unable to face the past she picks up her phone and calls Naomi to meet her.
Shelby steps out onto the cold wet sidewalk of her apartment and inhales the dark winter air. The whiskey on her breath would kill a fly if it came near her. It’s only a few blocks to the Cricket Street Pub where Naomi is waiting for her. The cold chills her through and she welcomes the numb feeling. Shelby holds her head up and marches forward.
She slides into a chair across from Naomi.
“Hey kid. You don’t look so good.” Naomi smirks.
“You wouldn’t too if you were me. Can I get a shot over here?” Shelby says flagging the waitress.
“What’s wrong?” Naomi leans back in her chair. She stares at the worn out woman setting across form her.
“Well, it’s a long story. Not one that I share often, or ever. The events of the last few days though, they’ve made me think about some things. When I was seventeen my sister, Sara had been begging to get her learners permit. We had just moved to a new foster place so I agreed to take her. Sara was so happy when she passed the test. I’m not sure how but she managed to convince me to let her drive us back to the house. It was a stupid idea and a decision I’ll regret for the rest of my life. On our way back, a truck ran the stop sign and hit the driver’s side. I woke up in the ambulance. Sara died in the car. I spent a week in the hospital. When I got better all I wanted was to get out of the state. I enrolled three weeks later, after my eighteenth birthday and never looked back.” Shelby picks up the glass of Jack Daniel’s and swallows its contents. She’s lost count of how many she’s had. Shelby exhales.
“I never even went to her grave. What kind of crap sister am I, huh? No matter where I go she finds me.”
Naomi sits quietly, listening. Shelby reaches into her pocket and pulls out the small peace sign keychain and lays it on the table.
“I could say a lot of things that would just sound empty and polite. You’re pretty wasted and most likely won’t remember this tomorrow anyway. Truth is, I don’t know what it’s like to lose someone like that. You were a kid yourself and you can’t blame yourself for what happened. Carrying around that crap can get you killed on the job. You gotta find a way to deal with this.” Naomi sighs and looks at the tabletop.
“Ya know I have a kid sister.” Naomi says picking up the bottle and pours them both another shot. She raises her glass.
“Here’s to sisters.”
They clink glasses and Shelby swallows slowly.
“You’re crazy if you think I’m going back there. What’s done is in the past. I’ll be fine.” Shelby was growing tired and sadder by the minute.
“Just need to get past this weekend and it’ll be alright.”
